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You’re Not Alone

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years now. Our sex life is almost nonexistent we're 24, so we should be acting like bunny rabbits, boning all the time. It started to bother me, to get turned down every time I wanted to have sex. So I did what any other girl would do and went through his phone.

What I didn't expect to find was gay porn men on men all throughout his Internet history. Not straight porn, not lesbian porn; all gay porn. When I How To Tell If My Boyfriend Is Gay him about it, he started to tell me he's attracted to a certain type of guy preppy, pretty boy, hair-swooped typethat he's never been with a guy, doesn't know if he's gay because he's never had the experience, claims he doesn't want to go out and experiment because "he has too much to lose," he's been watching it since he was 16, jerks off to it occasionally, and can't really give me any type of reason behind watching it other than "I don't know, I just watch it.

Regular porn does nothing for me. So I watch gay porn, but I'm not gay. I don't like this. But I want to know what I should do. Am I his cover-up? How do I truly know he's never been with a guy?

How do you explain this obsession with gay porn as a supposed straight male? I'm so insecure now. Sexual desire is unpredictable and complex; people's porn fantasies often don't overlap with their real-world sex lives. Your guy might be straight, gay, or bisexual — or he might not even understand it himself. That said, his explanation says a lot.

If your guy's reason for not sleeping with men was "I don't want to have sex with men," that would be one thing. Instead, his reason for not sleeping with men is that "he has too much to lose," which would seem to imply that's what he really wants to do — and that the only reason he's not with men is that he's scared.

At the very least, it sounds like your boyfriend is really grappling with his sexuality. That's incredibly hard, and it's lovely that you are being so empathetic — but you've got to look after yourself too. In the end, you don't need to figure out his sexuality to make a decision: Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to have sex with you? Well, of course you don't like this because your "sex life is almost nonexistent" and you get turned down every time you get turned on.

In some sense, it doesn't particularly matter if the dude is gay. What matters is that your sexual needs are being denied. You deserve to be with someone who wants you. And this guy doesn't seem to care about pleasing you. As a romantic partner, he isn't right for you.

Be a great friend to him. Tell him you care. Tell him you're sure he can't be a good boyfriend to you, which means you can't be a good girlfriend to him. But you don't have to stop caring about him or supporting each other. You can be there for each other as friends and, hopefully, you can help him become more fully himself. I have come close to it several times, but right when I have to lean in for that kiss, I back out.

Earlier, I used to attribute it to the fact that I was molested and that deterred me. But deep down, I know that's not true even though people seem hell-bent on convincing me. Well, that sort of stopped me from one-night stands. But now I am worried because I know that I don't really care about the above reasons. I feel stuck, alone, and left out when my friends talk about sex and wonder why I haven't been able to do it.

I have seen so many friends regret their sexual escapades that I am very apprehensive and unsure of what to do. I don't want to feel used the next day. Basically, the only time two people lose their virginity at the same time is when two virgins have sex with each other. People lose their virginity at all sorts of different times and ages.

There's no right time to have sex for the first time. There's nothing wrong with waiting until it feels right. There's nothing wrong with you, period. Some amount of joking is to be expected and tolerated, since someone's bound to tease you about your sex life whether you've had sex with zero people, two people, or a thousand. But if your friends are really making you upset, they should cut it out — and you should tell them this bothers you.

If they're good friends, I'm sure they don't mean to hurt you — and they might just not understand how sensitive you are about this subject. I'm certain your friends don't really want to put that kind of pressure on you. Do you really think a good friend would want you to have bad sex with the wrong guy and feel awful? All those jokes about your sex life are probably just reflections of their own issues.

If you don't feel like this is the right time — or you don't know the right available person — then wait. You cite Moving Supplies Phoenix Az reasons that you think might be holding you back: Obviously, past trauma can cause us to close ourselves off — but it doesn't have to define us, and neither do our families' attitudes, as you seem to understand.

I believe How To Stop Your Hair From Thinning when you say those reasons aren't the cause.

But it does sound like you're hung up on this guy. From my chair, I can't tell if that's true, star-crossed love or a convenient excuse, but I can advise you to do one of two things: Talk to him about your feelings, girlfriend or not.

Or do your damnedest to let that dream go and get on with your life. Confessing your feelings won't be easy, but, sometimes, when you're really hung up on someone, it's the only way to get some clarity: Whether he tells you he's always had feelings for you or that he's never thought of you that way, at least you'll know that you gave it a shot. And there is a chance that he might break things off with his girlfriend once he knows you're interested.

Just make it clear that you're not interested in someone who cheats; you don't need that hassle. The only other option is to do everything you can to put him out of mind. Create some distance between yourself and him. Go on a blind date. Ask a friend to set you up with someone. Join a dating site. Do whatever it takes to clear your head and save yourself the heartbreak of chasing after an unavailable guy.

Nobody can know for sure that the first time they have How To Tell If My Boyfriend Is Gay, it's going to be great. Nobody's ever going to be able to guarantee that they're not going to feel unsure the day after. But at the very least, you should really want it the day before. You don't sound like you're dying to jump into bed with someone. So take your time and wait until it feels right. What does it mean when a guy treats you like his girlfriend but then claims he views you as a "friend" when you tell him you want a committed relationship?

It means he's not your boyfriend. It means you've just been hooking up. And it means this is over. You're only going to get hurt if you hang around, hoping he'll change his mind.

Don't waste any more time with him. Break this How To Tell If My Boyfriend Is Gay and look for a guy who wants the same things. Do you have a question for Logan about sex or relationships?

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24 Sep Before you accuse your husband of being gay, get to the root of your suspicion with these six signs he's not gay. But there can be two signs to look out for: If the person is very committed to gay rights, is often talking about gay rights, and is often talking about their support for gay people, and if you already have other reasons to suspect he's gay, then it's more likely that he is gay. However, most people who are not out of the closet. 25 Sep While there is no surefire way to tell if your other half might secretly be gay, here are a few clues that you might want to look out for. Take a look at our list of He can either be evading these things because he feels guilty about his secret or because he simply doesn't hold any interest in them. Along with a.:

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24 Sep Sometimes, let's admit it, it's hard to know what's going on in a guy's mind. In order to get some answers we talked to dating expert Mat Boggs and asked him to share with us how to tell if a guy likes you—we're talking about the small things a guy does and signs he gives that he's really into you. Watch the. But there can be two signs to look out for: If the person is very committed to gay rights, is often talking about gay rights, and is often talking about their support for gay people, and if you already have other reasons to suspect he's gay, then it's more likely that he is gay. However, most people who are not out of the closet.

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8 Jul But there were signs something wasn't right, including gay dating profiles on his computer, which he explained away. In he said he was bisexual but wanted to be with her. Carol admits she was probably in denial but thought they would find a way through it as he was the man with whom she wanted. 13 Sep Let's be upfront: You probably wouldn't be reading this article if you didn't already have some kind of suspicious feeling that your boyfriend / spouse / whatever might be gay. We're assuming that you're a woman, of course. (If you're a man, and you think your boyfriend might be gay, then uh he probably is.

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13 Sep Let's be upfront: You probably wouldn't be reading this article if you didn't already have some kind of suspicious feeling that your boyfriend / spouse / whatever might be gay. We're assuming that you're a woman, of course. (If you're a man, and you think your boyfriend might be gay, then uh he probably is. But there can be two signs to look out for: If the person is very committed to gay rights, is often talking about gay rights, and is often talking about their support for gay people, and if you already have other reasons to suspect he's gay, then it's more likely that he is gay. However, most people who are not out of the closet.

Read more...

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24 Sep Sometimes, let's admit it, it's hard to know what's going on in a guy's mind. In order to get some answers we talked to dating expert Mat Boggs and asked him to share with us how to tell if a guy likes you—we're talking about the small things a guy does and signs he gives that he's really into you. Watch the. You may really want to know if your friend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're staying closeted. By "outing" them, even to yourself, you may be putting them in danger. For example, his family may be violently homophobic and by deciding that he's gay, you may out him by accident by treating him different or .

Read more...

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25 Sep While there is no surefire way to tell if your other half might secretly be gay, here are a few clues that you might want to look out for. Take a look at our list of He can either be evading these things because he feels guilty about his secret or because he simply doesn't hold any interest in them. Along with a. You may really want to know if your friend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're staying closeted. By "outing" them, even to yourself, you may be putting them in danger. For example, his family may be violently homophobic and by deciding that he's gay, you may out him by accident by treating him different or .

Read more...

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25 Sep While there is no surefire way to tell if your other half might secretly be gay, here are a few clues that you might want to look out for. Take a look at our list of He can either be evading these things because he feels guilty about his secret or because he simply doesn't hold any interest in them. Along with a. 24 Feb All gay. Not straight porn, not lesbian porn; all gay porn. When I approached him about it, he started to tell me he's attracted to a certain type of guy (preppy, pretty boy, hair-swooped type), that he's never been with a guy, doesn't know if he's gay because he's never had the experience, claims he doesn't.

Read more...

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Signs Your Husband May Be Gay

24 Feb All gay. Not straight porn, not lesbian porn; all gay porn. When I approached him about it, he started to tell me he's attracted to a certain type of guy (preppy, pretty boy, hair-swooped type), that he's never been with a guy, doesn't know if he's gay because he's never had the experience, claims he doesn't.

24 Sep Before you accuse your husband of being gay, get to the root of your suspicion with these six signs he's not gay. But there can be two signs to look out for: If the person is very committed to gay rights, is often talking about gay rights, and is often talking about their support for gay people, and if you already have other reasons to suspect he's gay, then it's more likely that he is gay. However, most people who are not out of the closet. 8 Jul But there were signs something wasn't right, including gay dating profiles on his computer, which he explained away. In he said he was bisexual but wanted to be with her. Carol admits she was probably in denial but thought they would find a way through it as he was the man with whom she wanted.

24 Sep Sometimes, let's admit it, it's hard to know what's going on in a guy's mind. In order to get some answers we talked to dating expert Mat Boggs and asked him to share with us how to tell if a guy likes you—we're talking about the small things a guy does and signs he gives that he's really into you. Watch the. 24 Sep Before you accuse your husband of being gay, get to the root of your suspicion with these six signs he's not gay. 8 Jul But there were signs something wasn't right, including gay dating profiles on his computer, which he explained away. In he said he was bisexual but wanted to be with her. Carol admits she was probably in denial but thought they would find a way through it as he was the man with whom she wanted.

24 Feb All gay. Not straight porn, not lesbian porn; all gay porn. When I approached him about it, he started to tell me he's attracted to a certain type of guy (preppy, pretty boy, hair-swooped type), that he's never been with a guy, doesn't know if he's gay because he's never had the experience, claims he doesn't.

 

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